As a diligent pet owner I take Buster to the local off-leash park every day and he accompanies me on short haul trips around the neighbourhood (unless I have to go into a store… because Buster does not do the ‘leashed on the bicycle rack’ thing… he is very firm on this point). I speak from the heart when I say that both he and I are taken aback when approached by dogs that have been grossly accessorized by their significant others.
For his part, Buster tends to pull himself as far away from the unfortunate beast as the confinement of pathways and sidewalks will allow. Personally, I do that ‘look away, look down, look up at the sky thing’, creating the impression that I either have a slight palsy or am searching empty space for imaginary creatures no one else can see. Both his reactions and mine lead me to the same conclusion…
It is WRONG to accessorize your dog.
Dogs are naturally cute. They are four-legged and covered in soft, cuddly fur. They have waggy tails and soft, expressive eyes. Unlike my aunt Irene, who claims to feel ‘naked’ without earrings, I am sure that there has never been a dog whose day was improved through the selection of the perfect bandana. I am equally certain that no dog has ever expressed joy upon being thrust into a 4-footed set of canine booties.
An accessorized dog is simply uncomfortable and perhaps even embarrassed and so I plead with all pet owners to just say no to the following:
4. Dog Sweaters (If your dog has very short hair and requires coverage in colder seasons, for God’s sake stick to something simple, like those plaid, blanket-style things that sort of strap under the belly… nothing knit and absolutely no turtlenecks!)
5. Costumes (We get it… your Dachshund is a ‘weiner dog’. No need for the hot dog costume with the stripe of yellow felt ‘mustard’ running down the poor bugger’s back)
And while I am ranting on the subject, may I add that no matter how small your dog may be it is unacceptable to cart the poor creature about in your purse. It wasn’t cute when Paris Hilton did it and it has not become more adorable over the subsequent years.
The next time you find yourself at a farmer’s market or high end pet store, admiring what you believe, in the moment, is simply the most adorable bandana/bow/bootie set/dog sweater/costume EVER, may I recommend that you take a moment to ponder what you might look like wearing such a purchase. Enough said.