5 Things NOT To Put On Your Dog

dog costume

As a diligent pet owner I take Buster to the local off-leash park every day and he accompanies me on short haul trips around the neighbourhood (unless I have to go into a store… because Buster does not do the ‘leashed on the bicycle rack’ thing… he is very firm on this point).  I speak from the heart when I say that both he and I are taken aback when approached by dogs that have been grossly accessorized by their significant others.

For his part, Buster tends to pull himself as far away from the unfortunate beast as the confinement of pathways and sidewalks will allow.  Personally, I do that ‘look away, look down, look up at the sky thing’, creating the impression that I either have a slight palsy or am searching empty space for imaginary creatures no one else can see.  Both his reactions and mine lead me to the same conclusion…

It is WRONG to accessorize your dog.

Dogs are naturally cute.  They are four-legged and covered in soft, cuddly fur. They have waggy tails and soft, expressive eyes.  Unlike my aunt Irene, who claims to feel ‘naked’ without earrings, I am sure that there has never been a dog whose day was improved through the selection of the perfect bandana.  I am equally certain that no dog has ever expressed joy upon being thrust into a 4-footed set of canine booties.

An accessorized dog is simply uncomfortable and perhaps even embarrassed and so I plead with all pet owners to just say no to the following:

1. Bandanas

2. Bows

3. Booties

4. Dog Sweaters (If your dog has very short hair and requires coverage in colder seasons, for God’s sake stick to something simple, like those plaid, blanket-style things that sort of strap under the belly… nothing knit and absolutely no turtlenecks!)

5. Costumes (We get it… your Dachshund is a ‘weiner dog’.  No need for the hot dog costume with the stripe of yellow felt ‘mustard’ running down the poor bugger’s back)

And while I am ranting on the subject, may I add that no matter how small your dog may be it is unacceptable to cart the poor creature about in your purse.  It wasn’t cute when Paris Hilton did it and it has not become more adorable over the subsequent years.

The next time you find yourself at a farmer’s market or high end pet store, admiring what you believe, in the moment, is simply the most adorable bandana/bow/bootie set/dog sweater/costume EVER, may I recommend that you take a moment to ponder what you might look like wearing such a purchase. Enough said.

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

8 thoughts

  1. I kind of like the bandanna. I admit it, though my dogs have let me know on no uncertain terms that they will graciously wear one for an hour or two following an expensive trip to the salon, but all bets are off after that. It is the compromise we have reached. Otherwise, no doggy fashion in this house. We’re happy enough if they aren’t filthy and matted.

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    1. OMG! My dog is exactly the same. They tie one on him when he goes to the groomer and it stays on for about an hour before he loses his mind and demands that I use my opposable thumbs and get it off him.

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  2. None of my dogs has ever been willing to wear a costume, not even bunny ears or reindeer antlers.

    Having said that, however, every dog I’ve ever owned has become upset at the removal of his or her collar (whether for a bath, or simply just to adjust the tightness). Each one has then seemed very happy when that collar was put back on. All I can think is that in their little doggie minds, wearing of the collar is a sign of belonging to the family – “What, no collar? My owners don’t love me any more!” Maybe it’s similar to the human ritual of wearing a wedding ring.

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    1. I think it may be because every time they take off the collar they wind up needing to take a bath. My middle one, who hated baths as a kid, always protested the removal of her socks and I think bathing was the reasoning there as well. ha ha

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  3. There is absolutely no way our Husky x German Shepherd would wear anything we tried to put on her – she’d pull is straight off. Mud id fine but no accessories!!
    Been having a nosy round your blog and loving it – I run an animal based blog linky every Tues called #AnimalTales and would love to see you link up if you wanted to.

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