You bought your dog. You trained (or tried to train) your dog. But this does not mean that you are the alpha in your canine relationship. Consider these telltale signs that your dog is in charge:
- While your dog is stopping to smell the flowers, you are scooping his poop into a tiny plastic bag which you will then carry with you down the sidewalk
- While you are dipping your no-name chicken strips in no-name ketchup, your dog is chowing down on his premium quality, gluten-free, organic kibble (available from only one store, that is open 3 hours a day and requires you to travel across town)
- The mattress on your bed predates your college graduation but your dog has three Costco sleep cushions (which are replaced quarterly), a travel blanket for the car, and full possession of the right side of your living room sofa
- There is at least one friend who is no longer invited to backyard BBQs because he/she is ‘not a dog lover’
- You have a container filled with ‘treats’ at your front door and you happily feed one to your dog every time he allows someone to enter without jumping all over them (or when he only jumps a little and doesn’t bark … or when he jumps and barks ‘alot’ but doesn’t bite them on the ass!)
No worries my friend… studies show that dog owners are ultimately happier, healthier, and live longer than the rest of the population, so carry your poop bag with pride! Maybe you are not in charge, but remember that your four-legged friend doesn’t really care what he eats or where he sleeps. These are your choices. He is happy so long as the two of you are together!
#1 made me laugh out loud!
6. You were always the dunce in Home Economics classes at school, but you start Sewing (!) and Knitting (!!) dog coats and jerseys because it’s winter and the dog is cold
LikeLike
Good one!
LikeLike