I am a Sidekick in My Own Life

They are fixing the potholes on my street. I guess I should be rejoicing because filled-in pot holes are better than giant pits all over the place, but the trucks and the workers that accompany the trucks are driving my dog crazy! Buster starts barking when the first vehicle arrives and he remains in a state of military preparedness throughout the day, constantly announcing the imminent threat to our survival through barks, followed by growling, followed by barks again. Yep… it’s a thing!

I work from a home office and I need this additional level of chaos like the Kardashians need more butt flesh. Already I have three teenagers and a ten-year old, plus all of the associated friends, ravaging my kitchen and running in and out of every available orifice in my house. Adding a hysterical schnauzer and then closing all of the windows to keep the outdoor noise from sifting inside, is the final layer on the cake of my insanity.

I poured my first glass of wine at 4:00pm today and it has already segued into more. Not proud of it, but there I am… Should I be monitoring my drinking? Because I really don’t have time for much more monitoring. I am already struggling to meet the demands of the FitBit my family got me for my birthday, a black rubber band around my wrist reminding me that I am supposed to be logging my food intake and checking to see if I am meeting my ‘step goals’ for the day. Arrgghh!

I love my kids. I love my job. I love my crazy schnauzer. But sometimes I feel like a sidekick in my own life… inserting comic relief into a plotline that is running way too fast for me to follow. I will never be promoted to the ranks of superhero because I don’t have time to get into a cape and tights.  Sometimes I don’t even make it into ‘daytime clothes’ and wind up spending half the workday dressed in plaid flannel PJ pants and a Canada Day 2010 t-shirt from Old Navy. My morning showers often happen after 8:00pm and I now consider shaving my legs to be a ‘special occasion’ activity.

I don’t want to change my life… just slow it down a little. Turn the volume down, like they do in elevators. I want my children to be with me all the time but maybe without actually needing anything. And I want my dog to be beside me at every moment, but silent, like Snoopy in the Peanuts cartoons. And I want my potholes filled in by fairy-like creatures who drift onto the street while I am asleep and silently smooth concrete. Then in the morning… voila!

Do I sound crazy? It might be the wine. Although I’m not drunk because I didn’t have time to get to the liquor store yesterday so I only had half a bottle left. Sigh… add ‘liquor store’ fairies onto my working woman’s wish list.

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