Why I Hate Maps

hate maps

I have NO sense of direction. ZERO. Less than zero if this is possible. So one might think that the map would be my friend. But it seems that the same DNA abnormality that makes me unable to discern whether I am ‘uptown’, ‘downtown’, or ‘midtown’ also renders me incapable of reading maps.

I am currently in Italy (pause while you sigh with wistful envy) .¬†When you ask an Italian for help getting from point A to point B, he or she smiles, waves one arm dramatically over the top of your head and proclaims that “it is right over there (more waving of arm). Very beautiful. 10 minutes”. This sage advice is the same whether you are asking about the Roman Forum, the nearest city, or the surface of Mars.

So i must attempt to navigate using maps… Or even more maddening… Google maps!
Here are the main reasons this is not working for me:

1. I can never find the street sign for the street I am on and, if I do manage to stumble onto it, I guarantee it is some mythical place not included on the map
2. No matter what way I turn when using my google map app, my little blue dot gets no closer to the little red dot I am aiming at. How is this possible?
3. My husband is against me so, even when I guess right, he pulls me off in a contrary direction based on man logic like… “I feel like it is right over there”

Sigh… The good news. Being lost in Rome is not necessarily a bad thing. The Italians are right. Just move 10 minutes east, west, north, or south, and something beautiful will appear. Worst case scenario… stop for gelatto… or wine!

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

3 thoughts

  1. Ah yes. We had the same problem in Europe. One problem was that every tiny road was on the maps and they came at you so fast (in that traffic moved so quickly) that you didn’t have time to read all the roads and so couldn’t keep track of where you were. And, as my husband said, the damn Vespas were coming at you like gnats! Every time we wanted to turn right, there would be a dozen of them pulled up beside us so we couldn’t. Ah Florence!!! The impossible city. Built in circles, if you missed a turn you were miles out of your way by the time you could turn again. You have my sympathies but seems like you’re taking it in good spirits. Judy

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