On the first day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
A Santa hat wet with doggie spit (and missing the tassel)
On the second day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Two wet parcels (because he barked at the delivery man, who subsequently dropped them outside in the rain)
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the third day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Three torn up cards (from those relatives that check out the mantle when they visit to make sure you have their cards on display)
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the fourth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Four chewed mandarins (covered in lint)
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the fifth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Five piles of puke (from eating the mandarins)
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the sixth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Six hours of cleaning (because four chewed mandarins and five piles of puke make a house pretty smelly)
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the seventh day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Seven white pompoms (no longer attached to Santa hats)
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the eighth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Eight broken candy canes (from the package he ran around the house with while I was unpacking the groceries)
Seven white pompoms
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the ninth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Nine kids-a-leaping (while the dog jumped at their gingerbread cookies and knocked over their milk glasses…gotta love Christmas parties!)
Eight broken candy canes
Seven white pompoms
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the tenth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Ten minutes of barking (while a group of very scared carolers heroically continued to sing Silent Night outside my front door)
Nine kids-a-leaping
Eight broken candy canes
Seven white pompoms
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the eleventh day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Eleven broken ornaments (after an unfortunate incident involving the tree)
Ten minutes of barking
Nine kids-a-leaping
Eight broken candy canes
Seven white pompoms
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
On the twelth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me
Twelve doggy kisses (which were so cute that I forgot about the other eleven days)
Eleven broken ornaments
Ten minutes of barking
Nine kids-a-leaping
Eight broken candy canes
Seven white pompoms
Six hours of cleaning
Five piles of puke
Four chewed mandarins
Three torn up cards
Two wet parcels
And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit
Merry Christmas to those blessed with pets and those blessed in other – probably equally stressful – ways!
Stuff my dog taught me 
Brilliant… and I recognise all of it 🙂
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Thank you. I thought of this because I just got the Santa hats out and already he is in full “let’s eat them all!” mode!
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It’s the robin on the top of the tree I have to watch… Ani is not at all happy about it…
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Ahhh… the tree topper. We once had an angel (note the use of ‘past tense’)
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Every year… we have the same discussion about whether or not the bird is fair game…
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Thanks for this. It reminds me of when the cat toppled our tree and the dogs grab the smaller lower hanging ornaments.
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Schnauzer kisses solve (absolve) everything! Haha.
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That’s Christmas amongst the fur people 🙂 Gotta love’em!
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