The 12 Days of Christmas: Schnauzer Version

schnauzer christmasOn the first day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

A Santa hat wet with doggie spit (and missing the tassel)

 

On the second day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Two wet parcels (because he barked at the delivery man, who subsequently dropped them outside in the rain)

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the third day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Three torn up cards (from those relatives that check out the mantle when they visit to make sure you have their cards on display)

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the fourth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Four chewed mandarins (covered in lint)

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the fifth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Five piles of puke (from eating the mandarins)

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the sixth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Six hours of cleaning (because four chewed mandarins and five piles of puke make a house pretty smelly)

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the seventh day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Seven white pompoms (no longer attached to Santa hats)

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the eighth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Eight broken candy canes (from the package he ran around the house with while I was unpacking the groceries)

Seven white pompoms

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the ninth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Nine kids-a-leaping (while the dog jumped at their gingerbread cookies and knocked over their milk glasses…gotta love Christmas parties!)

Eight broken candy canes

Seven white pompoms

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the tenth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Ten minutes of barking (while a group of very scared carolers heroically continued to sing Silent Night outside my front door)

Nine kids-a-leaping

Eight broken candy canes

Seven white pompoms

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Eleven broken ornaments (after an unfortunate incident involving the tree)

Ten minutes of barking

Nine kids-a-leaping

Eight broken candy canes

Seven white pompoms

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

 

On the twelth day of Christmas my schnauzer gave to me

Twelve doggy kisses (which were so cute that I forgot about the other eleven days)

Eleven broken ornaments

Ten minutes of barking

Nine kids-a-leaping

Eight broken candy canes

Seven white pompoms

Six hours of cleaning

Five piles of puke

Four chewed mandarins

Three torn up cards

Two wet parcels

And a Santa hat wet with doggie spit

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/leftovers-sandwich/

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

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