I Want to be Lorelei Gilmore

I am binge watching The Gilmore Girls on Netflix.  Every evening, when the 4,000 tasks of my day have been completed (or re-assigned to tomorrow’s “to do” list or temporarily forgotten) I reward myself with an hour… or two… or three of television (don’t judge me).  Still traumatized by the Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones and the unending death scenes of True Blood, I seek refuge in a show where no one is dismembered or disemboweled or burnt alive.

That’s all I ask for really; just a peaceful evening of entertainment with little to no bloodshed and a limited number of characters so I don’t have to keep googling to figure out who is who.  The Gilmore Girls delivers this in spades!  In fact, there is so little bloodshed and so few characters that there really isn’t even a plotline to follow, allowing me to enjoy multiple glasses of wine without losing the story arc.

The show is set in a fictional New England town whose citizens eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in the same cafe, consistently ordering pancakes in the a.m. and burgers at all subsequent meals.  Everyone is polite and kind except the grumpy owner of the cafe, his nemesis (the grocer) and the parents of Lorelei Gilmore (the main character).  But none of these characters are villains, just eccentric curmudgeons with hearts of gold.  Since no one has any real obstacles to overcome, episodes revolve around Lorelei and her daughter, Rory, struggling through traumas like enduring dull weekly dinners with family, dealing with boyfriends who are too in love with them, or deciding whether to go to Yale or Harvard.

I want to be Lorelei Gilmore.  I want kind-of-curly, kind-of-wavy hair that falls just far enough over one eye to be sexy, but not so far that it blocks my peripheral vision.  I want to drink coffee all day without getting a caffeine twitch.  I want to eat out all the time but never carry a purse, let alone swipe my VISA or surrender cash to a till.  I want my children to engage in witty verbal exchanges with me about the meaning of life, and a hunky, brooding man to do repairs around my house without being paid, just because he longs to be near the essence of me!

I am starting to become concerned that The Gilmore Girls is no longer having the desired effect.  Instead of relaxing my worried mind, my time with Lorelei and Rory is stressing me out.  I am setting goals for myself that I may not be able to attain.  For instance:

• I want to be perpetually optimistic and loved by all
• I want to have just the right amount of sarcasm (so I seem uber-smart but never mean)
• I want to have just the right number of eccentric behaviours (enough to make me unique but not enough to merit pharmaceutical intervention)

Most of all, I want everything to work out for me, preferably within sixty minutes!