My pop-port thingy won’t connect with my server whatsit

computer-frustration

It is true. No matter what I do, my pop-port thingy just refuses to connect with my server whatsit. And you know what that means! Seriously… do you know what that means? Because I have no idea.

I have been googling and yahooing and cockadoodle-doing for the last three hours and all I have to show for it is ALOT more knowledge about what everyone wore to the Golden Globes (I am easily distracted when I google).

The goal when I sat down at my laptop seemed simple enough. I wanted to set up my Yahoo Mail account so that it would receive emails from other mail servers, thus uniting my multiple email personalities.

My cyber-based schizophrenic disorder began a few years ago when I decided to separate my “mommy” emails from my “super charged career woman” emails by using two different mail servers. (Strangely, both versions of myself receive sale notices from American Apparel even though neither version of myself fits into their anorexic clothing).

About a month later, a group I was working with insisted that I begin using their organization’s email account so that it looked like I was an “in house provider”. I am oddly repulsed by this term, which I think has a sort-of-pornographic ring to it. What exactly am I providing? And why am I providing it “in house”? Yuck. But a buck is a buck, so I started in-house providing (or at least faking it).

Soon I had more of these brand-obsessed clients and was jumping from server to server, maniacally changing handles… kim@this and kim@that and kim@someotherplace. Madness! A woman can only be the “in house provider” to a certain number of fellows before she starts to feel a little cheap and dirty.

Connecting my pop port thingies with my server whatsit was supposed to be the “easy” fix. Picture a wall full of mailboxes, each with a little trap door at the back. No matter what mailbox you put the message in, it drops into the same spot. I would just open one mailbox and voila!

A teenage boy in a youtube video made the set up process seem very easy. Note: No matter what you are trying to learn to do, there is a teenage boy in a basement who has made a video explaining the process. The boy in the video I watched this evening calls himself Paul. If I ever see Paul in the real world he will become nothing more than a dent in the fender of my Subaru and a minor insurance claim! Just kidding… did I mention that I have been at this for hours? And there has been wine involved because I realized early in hour two that this was a WINE SITUATION.

So now it is past my bedtime and I am out of patience and out of wine… emoticon sad face (I actually had to write this out because I can’t even find the little emoticon buttons at this point. That’s how confused I am… I have lost the happy and sad faces!)

Remember when “@” was just a weird symbol on the typewriter that no one really used? I am going to go to bed now and hope that youtube Paul will be more helpful in the morning. Perhaps by then he will have posted a video titled “how to turn back time to when mail came in envelopes” or “how to cure your hangover by beating your laptop with a stick”.

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

4 thoughts

  1. Yeah. About that pop port thingie. For reasons best known to Those People, who run, y’know, like Google and the Gmail servers, what appears easy on the surface is often actually impossible. No matter what you do. Because that thingie doesn’t work. Not like they say it does. And nothing works with Microsoft office. No matter who promises what. I finally consolidated into one account. Lord help me should Google ever stop serving mail. My goose will be so totally cooked.

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