No one messes with MOTHER

angry-motherI am taking on a bunch of new things professionally… but I am making it work. The family calendar is so covered in activities and appointments that I can no longer see the dates… but I am making it work. A few things that I volunteered for months ago are now things I have to do now… but I am making it work.

Then, on Saturday morning at 8:45am, hubby reminds me that we have to get the car to the dealership for some reason or another and suddenly… I am NOT making it work. Superwoman has left the building.

In her place is angry, cranky woman. I want everyone in my house to start cleaning something… NOW. I do not want to be asked to drive anyone anywhere for any reason. I want to hire a “guy” to paint the front steps and another “guy” to clean the cobwebs off all the light fixtures in the house. It is all I can see this morning – chipped paint and cobwebs.

I have hit my “tipping point”. Every mother has one. It’s the fine line that separates “mommy” from “MOTHER”:

  • Mommy sees that the bananas have turned brown and makes banana bread. MOTHER does not.
  • Mommy hangs up all of the coats and lines up the boots so the entrance to the house looks nice. MOTHER does not.
  • Mommy drives people to the mall, and the movies, and the frozen yogurt place. MOTHER does not.
  • Mommy has a sense of humour. MOTHER does not.

I feel bad when I become MOTHER but at the same time, I cannot help but notice that MOTHER gets $#!!@ done. Since MOTHER arrived at our house this morning, beds have been made, rooms have been tidied, and the dishwasher has been unloaded.

MOTHER opted not to bake brownies for the event she is going to today. Instead, MOTHER will take something from the grocery store and everybody better thank her for her contribution! MOTHER is not making dinner either. Instead, she is reminding hubby that he needs to get some propane for the BBQ because those chicken drumsticks in the fridge are not going to cook themselves.

MOTHER is also sweeping a few things off the professional “to do” list. That demanding client who wanted a bunch of extra things done is going to get it when he gets it… and it will arrive with a giant invoice for the “extra” services.

No “guys” have spontaneously appeared to paint the stairs or suck up the cobwebs, but it is still early in the day, and MOTHER is just getting started!

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

7 thoughts

  1. I did that two days ago, actually. I was hearing for the umpteenth time in 25 years about how the husband is “working on it.” And I said “That’s it, bub.” You’re outta time. Do it, don’t do it, but do not ever again make me a promise to do something when you have no intention of doing it.

    I have concluded husbands and children alike make all kinds of promises. They are NOT breaking their word when they don’t actually do anything. They were just making soothing noises. They never had the slightest intention of doing anything.

    It has taken my a lifetime to dope out that those words may sound like promises, may resemble promises, but they aren’t promises. Just mouth music. That’s when MOTHER showed up. My son suddenly decided he could, after all, install the air conditioner in the bedroom and the husband decided he knew how to use a broom and maybe even the vacuum cleaner. I doubt it will last, but GOD that was satisfying.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t have, and never did have, kids. So, I can sit around in amazement, with a touch of smugness and a dollop of guilt, while working moms still are buying into the “we can have it all! and if we don’t we are seriously flawed!” nonsense. The first time I saw this in action, well…sorta “saw” it, was when a good friend of mine was telling me that she no longer had time to pee. She’d just hold it for hours. I was still able to have children (technically still am, I guess), but that pretty well sealed the deal! 😀

    Brown bananas + Greek yogurt + orange juice (no ice!!!) make the best smoothies. No oven. They are thick enough to call milk shakes.

    Like

Can't wait to hear what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s