I could be a better person…but…


I could be a better person.  I could make better choices.  I could live in accordance with all of the articles in Oprah magazine.  But…

I could be a vegan if…

  • the pig was not a ridiculously delicious animal
  • there was no longer cheese
  • I knew the correct pronunciation of the term ‘vegan’

I could buy only ‘made in Canada’ clothing if…

  • I wasn’t trying to raise a swarm of children on a budget
  • Roots sweatpants were suddenly accepted as business attire
  • Canada started manufacturing slightly sexier underpants

I could read ‘War and Peace’ and paint seascapes instead of watching television if…

  • I was a slightly less shitty painter
  • War and Peace was 1000X more interesting
  • HBO was 1000X less interesting

I could be more politically active if…

  • It didn’t require me to ever put a sign on my lawn
  • It didn’t require me to associate with other politically active people
  • I could speak the name of any political party without rolling my eyes

I could give up wine if…

  • ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

Author: Kim Scaravelli

I'm a content strategist and author of "Making Words Work: A Practical Guide To Writing Powerful Content." I'm bossy, but in a good way. And when I'm not kicking ass professionally, I wrangle a large, unruly family, and serve as butler to very demanding pets.

4 thoughts

  1. And if TCM would just stop showing classic oldies that I love. In fact, I’d get an electric car if they could drive up mountains … and go further than 75 miles on a charged battery. So many “if only” scenarios. I love this. Really loved it.


    1. I totally forgot about the electric car. I could drive an electric car… if it seated 5 people and a 45 pound schnauzer (and their luggage).


    1. Yes… the delicious-meat-factor is definitely an issue. Vegetarians try to convince themselves that their tofu burger is ‘just as good’ but it is a hard sell.


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