I could be a better person. I could make better choices. I could live in accordance with all of the articles in Oprah magazine. But…
I could be a vegan if…
- the pig was not a ridiculously delicious animal
- there was no longer cheese
- I knew the correct pronunciation of the term ‘vegan’
I could buy only ‘made in Canada’ clothing if…
- I wasn’t trying to raise a swarm of children on a budget
- Roots sweatpants were suddenly accepted as business attire
- Canada started manufacturing slightly sexier underpants
I could read ‘War and Peace’ and paint seascapes instead of watching television if…
- I was a slightly less shitty painter
- War and Peace was 1000X more interesting
- HBO was 1000X less interesting
I could be more politically active if…
- It didn’t require me to ever put a sign on my lawn
- It didn’t require me to associate with other politically active people
- I could speak the name of any political party without rolling my eyes
I could give up wine if…
- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
And if TCM would just stop showing classic oldies that I love. In fact, I’d get an electric car if they could drive up mountains … and go further than 75 miles on a charged battery. So many “if only” scenarios. I love this. Really loved it.
I totally forgot about the electric car. I could drive an electric car… if it seated 5 people and a 45 pound schnauzer (and their luggage).
I was a vegetarian until I was 19 years old. Now I have discovered how delicious meat is, don’t think I can ever go back haha!
Yes… the delicious-meat-factor is definitely an issue. Vegetarians try to convince themselves that their tofu burger is ‘just as good’ but it is a hard sell.