The weather app shows a bright yellow sun wearing a puffy gray cloud like a little hat. The cloud is decorated with two super-blue (and oddly cheerful looking) raindrops. For those of us who are struggling to relate this image to anything we have ever seen in the sky, a written summary clarifies that it is “sunny with chance of shower” and identifies the temperature range as “between 14 C and 22 C, although it will feel like 27 C”. Hmmmm…
Based on this information, I can conclude that:
- It will be sunny… unless it rains, and
- It will be hot… unless it is cold
These uber-helpful facts allow me to deduce that:
- I should wear a t-shirt, shorts and sandals… or a sweater, pants and water-proof boots
- I should apply sunscreen and carry an umbrella
- I should eat lunch at a restaurant that has a patio but expect the patio to be closed
- I will be hot… unless I am cold
- My hair will… or will not… be frizzy
- I will really enjoy… or really hate… walking the dog
I want to be a meteorologist. I want to speak with authority even when nothing I am saying makes sense. I want people to seek my guidance again and again, even if I am wrong more often than I am right. And I want to be 100% confident that I can predict the future, despite a mountain of historical evidence to the contrary.
Actually, I want to be a hybrid – the working-mother-meteorologist! It would be awesome. At work, I could be over-budget, over-time, and miles-off-target on every project, but clients would inexplicably still accept my proposals. At home, I could promise my kids ‘fun times’ every day then make them practice the piano and do long division, but they would never hold it against me. And every two weeks, I would make my mortgage payment… unless I didn’t… or maybe I would pay half but reassure the bank that my $500 will feel like $1000!