I am Canadian and proud of it, but within that identity, I am also a Maritimer. This means that I live on the east coast of Canada or, as we like to call it, “God’s country”. Please note that “Westerners” and “Central Canadians” weep at night for the misfortune of not living in the east.
The East Coast Lifestyle is super-cool. Among other things, we lay claim to:
- The best walking-home-drunk food in the world. The donair. Google it.
- 4 true seasons: Warm, Wet, Snowy, and Really-Wet.
- Friendliness. If this was a package-able commodity we would be shipping it to other countries in bulk. And there would be pipelines because what’s the worst thing that could happen in that scenario? A bunch of friendliness leaks out and makes Nebraska farmers start smiling.
- ‘Normal’ coffee. Everybody loves a mocha-crappa-frappa concoction from Starbucks now and then, but first thing in the morning I don’t want ice cubes or whipped cream or squirts of vanilla in my coffee. I want a Timmy’s (that’s local speak for Tim Horton’s) in a roll-up-the-rim-to-win cup (which I will compost because I am Canadian).
- Eating lobster. Sure, you can buy a lobster somewhere else, but you can’t eat it right! Where I’m from, you all gather around the table, with plastic grocery bags looped on the chair arms and you let the juice fly. Everybody double-dips into communal butter bowls and sucks the sweetness out of the skinny little legs without shame. It is messy and barbaric and glorious!
- Talking about the weather. We have raised this to an art form. We chat about what’s happening at the moment, what happened yesterday, and what might be going on tomorrow. Total strangers in a grocery store line up will share some moaning and groaning over rainfall/snowfall predictions, and compare apps. We LOVE to compare weather apps. What are you using? I’m seeing a sun with a cloud on top of it and three raindrops. What?!? You’ve got a site with a full sun pictogram? No way!!!
- Roots sweatpants. Every Maritimer has a pair. In gray. Canada should receive international recognition for the invention of these garments! I think that world peace might be attainable if we just put all those G8 folks in Roots sweatpants and let them talk it out in a living room somewhere. When tempers got too high, everyone could take a break and order in some donairs!