Dear God:
Thank you for my wonderful, wonderful family. Love them all to bits. Would run into a burning building to rescue them. But sometimes, I must confess, I pray for a bit of alone time (and by ‘alone time’ I mean time spent by myself when I AM NOT shopping for items they require, folding laundry, or cooking food in giant, institutional-sized pots).
And so, dear God, I must confess to cheating just a bit…
- I confess to moaning about having to go back to work after dinner when I am really just watching Netflix on the laptop in my office
- I confess to deliberately signing multiple kids up for back-to-back voice lessons and making hubby be the chauffeur, just so I could have two full hours alone in the living room every Tuesday
- I confess to pretending to run out of things just so I can go to the drug store by myself on the occasional evening… and I confess to dawdling in the magazine aisle… and I confess to always blaming the cashier when I arrive back home an hour later (note: she is a lovely woman with her own troubles and I should not imply that she is incompetent in any way)
- I confess to faking a zillion headaches over the years so that I didn’t have to go on a zillion different field trips, at least half of which seem to involve looking at the animal poop collection in the Museum of Natural History
- I confess to putting my youngest in the school lunch program (which she hates) on Mondays, just so I could take a yoga class… and I confess to skipping yoga and instead drinking iced coffee at Starbucks for an hour while reading trashy magazines
- I confess to ‘twisting’ my ankle on the first day of our annual family ski holiday, every year, so that I can just hang out in the lodge drinking hot toddies (totally worth having to fake a limp for 7 days)
I confess to telling white lies and slightly darker lies and sometimes relatively black lies in my pursuit of quiet isolation. And I confess to knowing that I will do these things again because sometimes ‘alone time’ is worth a bit of cheating.
AMEN.
Don’t forget occasionally feigning a stomach ache so you can spend extra time on the throne finishing that sexy romance novel.
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My husband claims a pretty exclusive right to the whole ‘hiding on the toilet’ thing… He was there through most of our middle-child’s terrible two’s.
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Your post is very timely as I was having one of those days today.
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Isn’t it amazing how you can say “one of those days” and immediately, other women know what kind of day you are having.
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Kim, you could add ” I did this for my own sanity, as a sane and rested mother is a better mother to the kids and husband I love.” More than anyone else, mothers need me time. No apologies needed and God understands. BTG
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As a working woman with kids at university, high school, and elementary school ages, I haven’t actually been rested in many, many years, although I have been able to carve out a bit of sanity through some of the creative means described in my post!
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I think you’ve discovered the secret to being a good mom. In providing your own needs (and likes and wants) you give yourself the energy and sense of humor and patience to provide what your family needs and wants and likes as well. It is paramount that everyone in the family’s needs are met–even your own! Wonderful essay, Kim. http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/09/10/leaves-in-a-dry-wind/
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Thank you for the kind words!
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Thumbs up on this one. I think we have all done this. I used to drive slowly some days between the grocery store and home and blast music just so I could have a mini vacation on especially hectic days. Now my kids are bigger and we all pile in to the car and sing and it feels like a family vacation when we cant really get away.
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I have a friend who used to take her three young boys to construction sites and just read a book in the car while they ooh’ed and ahh’ed over the diggers and the haulers and the giant-wheeled trucks. Thought it was highly creative!
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You well deserve your moments to yourself. You don’t need to justify them. Sheen.
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I need to justify everything… it is a compulsion… some people bite their fingernails… i justify.
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I must confess too. I can relate to that 🙂 That was funny .
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Reblogged this on zdcg and commented:
Very nice and very special for everybody .Everybody some believe of the God!
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The family is all for everybody.But we need time to be alone ,for relax after a day of activity .Some want to be alone others no ,how tired it is the family who relaxes .Is all from case to case.All is important we be happy and have the great time!
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