DEAR 20-SOMETHING DAUGHTER:
I LOVE YOU to the moon and back but…
If you want to share the hilarious story about that time you skied out of bounds with a bunch of your friends… call your father. He would love to swap tales about ridiculous, dangerous, youthful adventures. I however, fed, clothed, and sun-screened your tiny white body for many, many years. I do not wish to imagine it hurling off the edge of a snowy cliff.
I LOVE YOU so much that it makes me weepy but…
If you need to post photos of you and your BFFs partying… please text me in advance so I have a little warning and can un-friend you. I promise we can be friends again later, when you are older and post video recipes and weather warnings like the rest of my friends.
I LOVE YOU with an intensity that makes me kiss your photo when I’m dusting but…
If you don’t make the minimum payment on your VISA I will have to take time off work, use most of my airline points on a flight that will undoubtedly include at least two stops, spend the rest of my airline points to book a rental car, find my way to your apartment, and holler at your face for many, many minutes. Just sayin’. And don’t think that I don’t know exactly how much you owe and what you bought because I am your mother. I know EVERYTHING.
I LOVE YOU to the very core of my being but…
When you don’t return my texts or call on Sunday, it makes me crazy. I imagine that you have been kidnapped, or alcohol poisoned, or hit by a car while walking and texting. And I am angry because we talked so much about stranger danger, and responsible drinking, and when to put the damn cell phone in your pocket!
I LOVE YOU always, no matter what, but…
There is no but. I love you always, no matter what.
Stuff my dog taught me 
My son is 4 months old but I already see myself in this post! Funny
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Never too soon to start worrying!
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So, it’s kind of a fifty-fifty love, depending on her posted behavior? Maybe it would be easier to just stop looking at Facebook? Then you can enjoy ignorant bliss.
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Goodness no! Definitely a 100% love. Thought that was the theme of the post. Oh my… will have to re-read it. Also… there is no such thing as ignorant bliss. Bliss is being absolutely, perfectly happy with how it is. Ignorance is having absolutely no idea how it is. Just saying’.
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This is why I shouldn’t read blog posts before I have had my caffeine. I take things way too literally.
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What?!? Reading before coffee?!? Are you mad woman!!! Nothing. Repeat. Nothing. Should happen before the coffee. Nothing.
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Love it. When my mother was at college and was too busy to write her mother back, my grandmother had a quick cure. She stopped writing and sending stuff. My mother said she got the message, which she was passing onto is.
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I am not much of a ‘stuff sender’ so I think it would take a terribly long time for her to feel the effects of that… ha ha
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LOL……………yep sounds about right, my girls at 23 and 25!
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Mine are 12, 18, and 21… I know… it is clear that hubby and I have been flying by the seat of our pants for decades and have no planning skills.
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lol
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about the texts and calls… all we daughters ask is that you wait 5-10 minutes before panicking and sending another text or calling again. We didn’t forget that we had plans together… We’re simply on our way… we’re driving and don’t want to answer right this minute (don’t text and drive!)… we’re two stoplights away… Seriously, we’re almost there! (not that I have any experience in this matter lol)
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ha ha ha. Love the alternative perspective.
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