Irritations

irritationsI am not an angry person. In fact, it might be said that I possess a rather good sense of humour about life and the inconveniences that sometimes go with it. However, there are a few things that I just can’t develop a tolerance for – irritations that crawl under my flesh like fire ants.

My Top 10 list:

  1. The cost of popcorn at the movies (Seriously… How is that mark-up not a criminal offense?)
  2. Drivers who tailgate (Get. Off. My. Ass!)
  3. Restaurants that are scrimp-y with the wine (I don’t care how great the ambiance is.. bring me a grown-up-woman glass of wine or kiss my business good-bye)
  4. Leaky milk cartons
  5. People who put cheese back in the fridge improperly wrapped (And No… just folding over the end of the opened cheese wrapper will not work.  In the history of mankind, just folding over the end of the opened cheese wrapper has NEVER worked!)
  6. Peaches (the fruit that moves from under-ripe to over-ripe in the time it takes to have a pee)
  7. Fitted bed sheets that don’t fit (It’s written on the label for God’s sake! “Fitted”. Not “Almost Fitted” or “Maybe Fitted”. Just saying.)
  8. itunes (Why is it easier to steal music online than it is to buy it honestly?)
  9. Phone support messages (Press 1 for English. Press 1,2,3…9 for your help “options” which will be read to you super slowly… so that you will undoubtedly be unable to remember 1-4 by the time the automated voice gets to 9. Press # to repeat. Press 0 to hear the message telling you that you have pushed an incorrect option… Argh!)
  10. Hipster coffee service (I can make dinner for a family of 5 in less time that it takes a white-boy-with-dreadlocks to fill an eco-friendly paper cup with medium roast)

I could easily lengthen this list by adding on some of the “Improved” Things that Drive Me Nuts, like:

  • Front-end-loading washing machines (If you have one… you know what I mean)
  • Water-saving toilets (Is it really saving water if I have to flush three times?)
  • Energy-efficient dishwashers (They save energy by working at the pace of a 90-year-old marathoner. You start it before you go to bed and pray the coffee mugs will be clean by morning)
  • Complicated coffee makers (I just want to pour water in the top and have coffee come out the bottom. I should not need to leave the instruction manual on the counter!)
  • Gluten-free versions of foods that are supposed to be made with gluten (“Gluten-free” is code for “dry with a vague aftertaste of stamp-glue”)
  • Cable Packages (So I now require post-secondary training in order to unravel the possible channel groupings and the accompanying pricing. Yet I still can’t get Game of Thrones unless I sacrifice a significant portion of my grocery budget and at least one of my kids stops playing sports)
  • Wireless Speakers (Please just give me something with an ATTACHED power cord that plugs into a wall outlet and cannot ‘disappear’ into the cord/charger abyss that is my home)

The more I think about the things that irritate me, the longer the list becomes. And the longer the list becomes, the more irritated I get. It’s an evil cycle, really. If you aren’t careful, it is easy to become one of those people who looks at a Christmas tree and only sees the single burnt out bulb. And you don’t want to become one of THOSE people… because they are really irritating!

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

9 thoughts

  1. Kim, we have been going to more movies with a full stomach to avoid the mark-up on popcorn and drinks. Plus, at my age, if I get a water, I will miss fifteen minutes of the movie with restroom breaks. Love the front loader washing machines, as well. Keith

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  2. I hear you on the popcorn. I’ve taken to buying my own at the supermarket and taking it with me. I’d add anything that has “easy to open” written on it to your list. Generally it’s not the case at all: the corner that you are supposed to peel open on the pack of ham is welded shut with glue, and you find yourself trying to dig your way into it with your car keys, teeth or nails on your family picnic whilst your children scream that they’re hungry.

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  3. Hubby will take a slice of cheese, give half to the dog, and just fold the plastic loosely over the rest, so that the next time it’s opened, the edges are all dried out to the point even the dog won’t eat it. No amount of explaining will get him to change his ways, stubborn man.

    And now, you have me up on the soapbox. I have all that free time these next two weeks and am looking for post ideas. I think I might borrow this one of yours. Any objections to that? I have lots of things that irritate me. (I’ll link back, of course.)

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