Here are just some of the things women DO NOT do in high heels. Ever.
- Work as plain clothes detectives, private investigators, on-site forensics experts, international spies, emergency room doctors, or any other vocation in which spontaneous running may be required
- Teach school. The sexy schoolteacher is a figment of the male imagination – like mermaids and sirens, and dogs that bring you beer
- Go shopping. Especially in grocery stores. Why in the name of God would I wear stilettos to the Superstore?
- Push strollers, play with children, or otherwise engage in active parenting
- Curl up on the sofa at the end of the day
- Cook, bake, or otherwise function in a kitchen
- Meet up with friends. Seriously?!? If you have to wear foundation, mascara, lipstick, and a 3” pair of heels to a hen party, you are not hangin’ with the right hens
- Seduce their husband. Note: If you say “let’s do it”, the husband is happy. Seduction complete. No need for wardrobe changes or uncomfortable footwear
- Travel on planes
- Run
Even in the imaginary world of movies and comic books, I am confident that no female action hero would choose stilettos. Cat Woman, Wonder Woman, the Black Widow et al should be wearing Nike Frees because that is what people wear when they need to jump and leap and run and generally kick ass.
That is what real women do every day. We jump and leap and run and generally kick ass. And we do it in comfortable footwear.
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Stuff my dog taught me 
It took my wife a couple of years for her feet to shed the corns and pain due to wearing pumps to work downtown.
These heels must have been invented by a man as some form of punishment.
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FYI… they were originally made for upper class men and women so they could look taller than peasants. But by the middle ages they had become exclusive to women and were made increasingly hard to walk in, as a means of keeping women from fleeing harems.
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That makes sense. It may have been to stand above the mud and sewage in the streets, as well.
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Haha. I used to run in high heels all the time, and climb hillsides. I was an odd teenager.
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Were you training to be a superhero? Because I am pretty sure that is mandatory skills training for female superheroes!
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Haha. I think I was at the time. Some people certainly think my multitasking and time management skills are superpowers!
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Every year here in Buffalo, there’s a charity run which requires the participants to all wear high heels. Some of the contestants actually manage to run, but most just walk. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s a fun day.
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Excellent use of high heels.
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Hope you don’t mind that I share – this was too funny (and on point) to keep to myself 😉
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Sharing rocks!
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