No One Runs in High Heels

run in heels

Here are just some of the things women DO NOT do in high heels. Ever.

  1. Work as plain clothes detectives, private investigators, on-site forensics experts, international spies, emergency room doctors, or any other vocation in which spontaneous running may be required
  2. Teach school. The sexy schoolteacher is a figment of the male imagination – like mermaids and sirens, and dogs that bring you beer
  3. Go shopping. Especially in grocery stores. Why in the name of God would I wear stilettos to the Superstore?
  4. Push strollers, play with children, or otherwise engage in active parenting
  5. Curl up on the sofa at the end of the day
  6. Cook, bake, or otherwise function in a kitchen
  7. Meet up with friends. Seriously?!? If you have to wear foundation, mascara, lipstick, and a 3” pair of heels to a hen party, you are not hangin’ with the right hens
  8. Seduce their husband. Note: If you say “let’s do it”, the husband is happy. Seduction complete. No need for wardrobe changes or uncomfortable footwear
  9. Travel on planes
  10. Run

Even in the imaginary world of movies and comic books, I am confident that no female action hero would choose stilettos. Cat Woman, Wonder Woman, the Black Widow et al should be wearing Nike Frees because that is what people wear when they need to jump and leap and run and generally kick ass.

That is what real women do every day. We jump and leap and run and generally kick ass. And we do it in comfortable footwear.

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

11 thoughts

  1. It took my wife a couple of years for her feet to shed the corns and pain due to wearing pumps to work downtown.

    These heels must have been invented by a man as some form of punishment.

    Like

    1. FYI… they were originally made for upper class men and women so they could look taller than peasants. But by the middle ages they had become exclusive to women and were made increasingly hard to walk in, as a means of keeping women from fleeing harems.

      Like

  2. Every year here in Buffalo, there’s a charity run which requires the participants to all wear high heels. Some of the contestants actually manage to run, but most just walk. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s a fun day.

    Like

Can't wait to hear what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s