There are 7 things I learned this Christmas
- A 1000-piece puzzle of the world is not the best gift choice for a family filled with Type-A personalities who are geographically challenged. And Google Maps cannot help you find that blue piece with just a hint of brown that will complete Australia!
- General concern over midlife weight gain will not stop anyone from continuing to eat brown sugar fudge. Or peanut butter bonbons. Or giant candy canes filled with chocolate.
- Personal hygiene flies out the window when you are wearing Roots Sweatpants and Reading Socks.
- A case of wine does not last as long as you think it might. But if you are willing to venture outside in food-stained Roots sweatpants with the smell of fudge on your breath, the good folks at the liquor store will sell you more wine. Note: The liquor store will be populated solely by thin, Lululemon-clad neighbours who have stopped in on their way home from a 10k run.
- Potato stuffing is the ChiaPet of the food world. Left in a casserole dish at the back of the fridge, it will re-generate itself forever. It will outlive the turkey and the gravy and the cranberry sauce. Eventually, you will find yourself smearing it on your breakfast bagel and trying to convince the children that stuffing would be a great ‘sneak in’ food at the movies.
- Once the cat has re-decorated the Christmas tree, there is no point in trying to repair the damage every two hours. Just stop looking at the naked bottom-third, accept that the $20 snowball ornaments are dead, and eat some more fudge.
- Tomorrow is the day when it will be considered inappropriate to pour Bailey’s into the morning coffee. Not today. Tomorrow.