Facebook-Me is Way Cooler Than Real-Me

FacebookI love my Facebook persona.

On Facebook, my family is always happy, my pets are quietly loveable, and there is an endless rotation of well-decorated cookies on my kitchen counter. Much of my time is spent skating outdoors and walking in the park with my dog while gentle, movie-set snowflakes, fall gently from a cloudless sky. My evenings are dedicated to drinking wine in front of the fireplace, reading books, and working on 1000-piece puzzles with my super-smiley children.

On Facebook, I eat local-sourced bagels, made-from-scratch meals, and beautifully presented restaurant food. And I share quick recipe videos with Facebook friends, so that we can all learn how to create gourmet-level pasta dishes in less than 10 minutes. But here is the thing…

I have NEVER tried to make gourmet-level pasta in less than 10 minutes. I just watch the videos. And while I am sharing truths…

  • More likely than not, my family was bickering only minutes before that happy-family photo was taken. And they were definitely bickering minutes after it was taken because they all hate it when I make them squeeze together for happy-family photos.
  • My dog is certifiably nuts. He is on anxiety meds just to keep him on the razor’s edge of sanity and is probably stoned out of his mind in many of my cuddly-dog-on-bed photos.
  • A peek into my kitchen cupboards will reveal several cans of tomato soup, a stack of Kraft dinner boxes, and multiple jars of no-name pasta sauce. There are processed cheese slices in my refrigerator and two Delissio pizzas in my freezer. If you check the dates on my fabulous food photos, you will find that they are almost always taken on Sundays – Family Dinner day. Note: Common etiquette dictates that you do not invite extended family over and serve fish sticks with a side of McCain showstring fries.
  • The majority of my outdoor-fun photos do not actually show me performing feats of outdoor fun. Just sayin’. I am usually taking the photo while my family members leap, jump, glide, float, and otherwise propel themselves through space. If I am actually in the photo, chances are that I am drinking hot cocoa on a bench beside the skating rink or sipping a hot toddy in the lounge area at the bottom of the ski hill. There are also many photos of my pedicured toes in the foreground with a pool or an ocean in the background. I am not actually IN the water.
  • I do enjoy a good fire and a glass of wine – frequently! But on most days the glass doors on the fireplace are so sooty that you can’t even see the logs burning because hubby and I are having a passive-aggressive power struggle over whose turn it is to clean the glass. Cleaning the glass is a sucky job.
  • It is highly unlikely that I am reading a book in front of the fireplace – sooty or not. If it is after 8pm, I am more likely binge watching some series I dug up in the comedy section of Netflix.

Facebook-Me is awesome. So is Business-Meeting-Me, who dresses really well and never swears. And Supportive-Mom-Me who can talk about things like sex and drinking with Zen-like calmness.   I love all of my personas. But the truth is that they are only small parts of the mixed bag of nuts that is Real-Me. And that’s okay. I love Real-Me too… even if I don’t let her make Facebook Posts.  Or attend conferences. Or have deep, meaningful conversations with tweens, teens, or young adults.

Author: kim scaravelli

Kim lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, with her long-suffering husband, an assortment of off-spring, a charming cat named Winnie, and a less charming (but oddly loveable) schnauzer named Buster.

6 thoughts

  1. We all do that, only most people aren’t as honest about it. 🙂 It is tragic when the personas accidentally get switched, like when icky-chore me (and I’m a cussin’ ‘merican) gets confused and goes to the business meeting instead of the well, dressed, non-cussin’ one. 🙂

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  2. Kim, we look at other people’s Facebook page and do not equate that we are seeing the same Sunday dressed version as we have on ours. When you go beneath the surface, we find that everyone has the same or different challenges. I have seen people get depressed comparing their imperfect life with another’s perfect Facebook life.

    By the way, I like Krafts Mac-n-cheese. I lived on it in college and when I was single. Keith

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  3. What a great post! If only everyone who read Facebook truly realised that 95% of what they’re reading is crap! And also – no I don’t want to see your new car, the view from your hotel window or the meal you ate tonight! Why do people do that? Seriously – why do I need to see what you just ate?? And another thing, no I don’t want to be touched by a bloody angel – or by anyone else for that matter lol!

    I’ve signed up to follow you, because you made me laugh…as opposed to FB which makes me roll my eyes – frequently! 🙂

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