10 Things a 53-Year-Old Woman Might Want For Her Birthday

happy.birthday

So today is my birthday. Yesterday I was 52.  Today I am 53.  Logically, I know that I am not “a year older” – just 24 hours older, and I don’t feel better or worse than yesterday.  Well… perhaps a little worse because I went to dinner with a friend last night and enjoyed a bit too much red wine and a bit too much red meat, and spent the wee hours simultaneously battling the bed spins and the meat sweats.

But other than these self-induced ills, I feel basically the same.  Getting older has never been one of those things that bothers me.  And I strongly prefer it to the alternative.

True, I am fatter, more wrinkly, and more crinkly than I used to be, but so far these problems are readily solved by buying larger jeans, more expensive face creams, and giant containers of Advil gel caps.  Note: The Advil gel capsule is one of the greatest inventions of our time!

So please feel free to wish me a happy birthday.  I will not break into tears or launch into a sad lament about “playing the back 9”.  Note: Most of the people who use that golf analogy are arguably playing the 15th-18th holes. Just sayin’.

And on the subject of wishing me well… If you are looking for a gift idea, please allow me to offer a few suggestions that are popular amongst my demographic (middle-aged women with jobs and children and overly anxious pets):

  1. Wine
  2. Wine
  3. Wine

(I cannot stress strongly enough how much middle-aged women love wine).

  1. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner in a restaurant

(We generally enjoy any meal that does not require a trip to the grocery store and does not end with the need to load and unload the dishwasher).

  1. An Outing. 

(Middle-aged women LOVE being taken out in public, even if it means swapping our Roots Sweatpants for something with a non-elastic waistband).  And while on that subject…

  1. Roots Sweatpants

(Because when you put on your Roots Sweatpants, you literally forget your worries  – and when they are new, they are all fuzzy inside, which is extra delightful).

  1. Tea, tea cups, a tea pot… basically anything related to enjoying a cup of tea

(Middle-aged women love the idea of being tea-drinkers.  On an average day, we are more likely to drink coffee – right up until 5pm when we switch out the mug for a giant fishbowl glass of wine – but we like the idea of tea).

  1. Jewelry

(Much like the tea… even if it is never worn – because it looks silly with Roots Sweatpants –  it is nice to have).

  1. Gourmet mini-cupcakes

(FYI… The calorie count for foods that fit in your mouth, in their entirety, is zero.  This is a fact.  Google it!)

  1. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

(Sigh.  It is a long-shot but it makes us happy to dream!)

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Author: Kim Scaravelli

Kim Scaravelli is an entrepreneur, marketer, content consultant, and author of “Making Words Work”. The best way to keep in touch is to subscribe to Kim’s popular newsletter. Every second Wednesday, she shares practical writing tips, timely insights, and resources to make your work easier and your content better. To learn more about Kim, visit her website.

37 thoughts

          2. I also consider myself a tea person. But I must admit that I like rooting around in the tea store as much as actually drinking the tea. Tea shops are like book stores… they make you feel smart and cultured

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  2. I think, but I might be wrong, (although I’m usually right) that I am a bit in love with you just after reading this one post! Hilarious! And now I’m off to check out Roots sweatpants – or as we say in the UK ‘jogging bottoms’ although I’m definitely only going to wear them on the sofa with a gin and tonic 😉
    Ally
    http://www.longtallally.com

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  6. Know yer a pup. Birthdays are highly overrated. And I send you numerous Old Spice guy in the shower commercials to make you grin. Google it… I’m too old to embed it. 😉 Live long….

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  8. I’d like to add to the list: an industrial sized fan in EVERY room I intend to go into, Tena Lady free with EVERY handbag I buy and my young looking knees back – instead of the two mountain ranges that seem to have taken up residence in the middle of my legs! Oh, and a mobile phone with a MASSIVE keyboard big enough to accomodate my seemingly gigantic thumbs!! 😂

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    1. Excellent additions! I shall begin my Christmas list immediately… Note: I always start my Christmas list the moment my birthday is over. I am like a small child that way – a true gift junkie!

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